Do you matter? …. Self-confidence is hard….

What is self-confidence? Honestly, what does it mean?

I will begin with a little history of myself, I am not writing this for pity or sympathy but rather to educate other people who may be struggling with self-esteem and self-confidence issues.esteem3

I was always the kid in the corner of the classroom that no one ever noticed. I had people in class that I talked to, but as soon as the dismissal bell rang at the end of the day I ceased to exist. No one ever called, texted, or invited me to do anything. Yes it was very depressing, and I can totally relate to the Mark and Bill story, though I wasn’t quite to the point that Bill was at, but I was close, as I had struggled with suicidal thoughts. (If you haven’t read the Mark and Bill story, please take the time, you may save a life). I hated high school, but even worse I hated myself. What was wrong with me? Why didn’t I have friends? Why couldn’t I even talk to people?

I have always been driven towards my career and immediately after my high school graduation I started college and my loneliness followed me. Once again I found myself alone, with no one to talk to or hang out with, and I once again began to sink into a sad and depressed state. After a year in college I enrolled in a program that consisted of the same students for twelve months, five days a week and I had friends in the program, some that even studied with me after school hours, but as soon as the program was over BANG I stopped existing to them. Seriously, not a word one has been said to me since school. Then I began working for an organization made up of all adults who have dedicated their lives to helping others, I thought I would surely make friends that I could do stuff with on the weekends, HA! Nope… for an organization made up of adults, they were a bunch of stuck up pricks that had their cliques that I guess I just didn’t fit into. Once again, I hated life. I hated myself; I hated waking up everyday because I knew I would be without friends. I have people that say “I had a buddy in high school” or “my friends from college” and all I have to say is “my girlfriend” or “I” because my stories never consist of anyone else, because they didn’t exist.

Okay, enough about my sad life, allow me to move onto my attempt at a new life. One filled with self-confidence, I hope. While in my college program now I do have one friend, she has turned out to be the best friend I could ever ask for and I pray every day that we will continue our friendship after school is over, with her and my girlfriend I think I can be happy after school. I digress, my friend, I will call her Alexa, and I were in our Lab Management class the other day and we had a guest speaker. This man was incredible, he was a been-there-done-that kind of guy. He spoke to us about attitude in the workplace and how to improve our day-to-day attitude. This man was eye opening and I hope he was life changing. He was so impressive I want to share him with you.

“I am Chief Kamehameha, of the tribe of one, I control me.”

The man repeated this phrase and it is amazing how true it is. I am in charge of me; no one holds a remote to control my emotions. If someone upsets me I have to decide to be insulted or hurt. If someone doesn’t want my friendship it is a choice to be upset about it, and from this day forward I refuse to choose to offended or upset. If you don’t want to be my friend then screw you, I don’t need you in my life. “I am Chief Kamehameha, of the tribe of one, I control me.” I choose to be happy. This man has a motto that he repeats everyday and I don’t believe that he would be upset if I shared it as I am sure he would hope that it would help you as well. His motto to live by is “Everyday Awesome”. Simple and concise, two words dictate his everyday life. Everyday I will choose to be awesome. Awesome is a choice, no one can control me, and no one is important enough to me that they can take away my ability to be awesome.

esteem 2 In order to live a happy life, you must be happy inside, you must be happy with yourself. So from this point on I choose to be happy with myself, without the haters and losers that never invited me places. This man gave out cards with rules written on it, the rules are designed to aid you in creating a happy life for yourself. The rules are as follows,

  • Take the opportunity today to show respect and appreciation.
  • Take the opportunity today to show acts of kindness to all those around you.
  • Take the opportunity today to treat everyone as if it was the last time you would ever see them.

These are truly some great rules to live my. I ask that each of you take these to heart and spread them around, if each person follows these rules imagine how great of a place the world would be.

I end this post with the same statement he left us with.


             My actions today affect everyone tomorrow.

                                                                                   Do I matter?

I matter to me, and if I matter to be and am happy with me, then I will be happy to others, and others will feel that they matter and we wont have anymore Mark’s in the world. Don’t be a dick, be a Bill. (Read the story, PLEASE.)




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God bless!